We may be
A far distance apart
Once you leave
But that
Will only make
Our love grow stronger
And won't it be nice
To come back
Knowing I'm waiting for you
So you can run into my arms
Thursday, June 2, 2011
The Rose
To you I give these flowers
To show my love to you
While they may not last forever
Our love will stay true
They show how beautiful
Our love can truly be
But one little red
Hidden in red
Will last
And show everlasting love
To show my love to you
While they may not last forever
Our love will stay true
They show how beautiful
Our love can truly be
But one little red
Hidden in red
Will last
And show everlasting love
Friday, May 27, 2011
My death
My cold fingers
You grasp in your hands
Covered in blood
As you try to resucitate me
You blame yourself as the cause of my death
For me cutting myself to shreds
For me slowly and painfully
Gliding away from these ruins
And for telling me you don't love me
Whwn you knew with all of your heart
It was true
If only you had'nt realized so late
You grasp in your hands
Covered in blood
As you try to resucitate me
You blame yourself as the cause of my death
For me cutting myself to shreds
For me slowly and painfully
Gliding away from these ruins
And for telling me you don't love me
Whwn you knew with all of your heart
It was true
If only you had'nt realized so late
I want
I yearn to be loved
To be caressed
To be touched
But I always look in the wrong
For I try to find you
All I find is wrong
Or ones I could not love
I yearn to find you
To have you
To own you
To call you mine
But will I ever find you?
To be caressed
To be touched
But I always look in the wrong
For I try to find you
All I find is wrong
Or ones I could not love
I yearn to find you
To have you
To own you
To call you mine
But will I ever find you?
Careful with Love
Love is like a string
Thin and strong
Yet easily broken or lost
You must do your part
To help it grow stronger
Or else you may lose it...
Forever
Thin and strong
Yet easily broken or lost
You must do your part
To help it grow stronger
Or else you may lose it...
Forever
Ice Statue
You wonder why I don't care
Why I am so cold
You gaze into my stone-cold eyes
My heart frozen for what seems an eternity
To find the love you hope I'm hiding
You try until you can't take it anymore
And break down in sobs
Am I gone?
Will I ever feel again?
You silently whisper to yourself
Whwn you see a crystal, sparkle of light
Fall down my statue-like face
My trance-like coldness melts
tTo sadness and love
Then you realized I've loved you all along
But, hid it,scared of rejection and hurt
As my heart slowly turned to ice
Why I am so cold
You gaze into my stone-cold eyes
My heart frozen for what seems an eternity
To find the love you hope I'm hiding
You try until you can't take it anymore
And break down in sobs
Am I gone?
Will I ever feel again?
You silently whisper to yourself
Whwn you see a crystal, sparkle of light
Fall down my statue-like face
My trance-like coldness melts
tTo sadness and love
Then you realized I've loved you all along
But, hid it,scared of rejection and hurt
As my heart slowly turned to ice
Not worth it
Leave me alone!
You think you're better than me?
You're not even worth being the
Dirt under my shoes
You enjoy torturing and taunting me
Is that all you can do to make yourself feel better?
Why won't you just be my friend?...
Or better yet...
Just leave me alone?
You think you're better than me?
You're not even worth being the
Dirt under my shoes
You enjoy torturing and taunting me
Is that all you can do to make yourself feel better?
Why won't you just be my friend?...
Or better yet...
Just leave me alone?
What is this deadly thing?
Look around, at all the red
"What is it?" you ask
"Fear, vengeance, pain..." I reply
Smiling to myself
"But how is that possible?" you question me
"I let it leak out through deep the cuts in my body..''
You gasp to see the last of my life
Flow out of me
With a single, deadly
Drop of bood
"What is it?" you ask
"Fear, vengeance, pain..." I reply
Smiling to myself
"But how is that possible?" you question me
"I let it leak out through deep the cuts in my body..''
You gasp to see the last of my life
Flow out of me
With a single, deadly
Drop of bood
Sick of all this
I'm sick of you
I'm sick of this mess
You've created a monster
Of yourself
I try to love you
But you hurt me to much
I'm sick of your hurting me
I can't love a monster
Not unless it was me
And yet
That may even be impossible
I'm sick of this mess
You've created a monster
Of yourself
I try to love you
But you hurt me to much
I'm sick of your hurting me
I can't love a monster
Not unless it was me
And yet
That may even be impossible
My worst fear
My worst fear is of being left alone
I've always been alone
Alone in my sanctuary
Where I thrive
Alone and loveless
Where I slowly die
I can't be alone for to long
Please don't leave me alone
I've always been alone
Alone in my sanctuary
Where I thrive
Alone and loveless
Where I slowly die
I can't be alone for to long
Please don't leave me alone
Backstabber
I thought you were my friend
But you screwed me over
You controlled and manipulated me
Until I shuddered when you're near
And shrunk into the shadows
Trying to hide from my darkest enemy-
Fear
But you screwed me over
You controlled and manipulated me
Until I shuddered when you're near
And shrunk into the shadows
Trying to hide from my darkest enemy-
Fear
No one knows me
No one knows me
Not the way I do
They think they know me
And yet
Do I even know myself?
Not the way I do
They think they know me
And yet
Do I even know myself?
Indecisive
You love me
You hate me
You're indecisive
You hurt me
You lie to me
You cheat me
You get all you want
You steal from me
Have'nt you got enough?
You hate me
You're indecisive
You hurt me
You lie to me
You cheat me
You get all you want
You steal from me
Have'nt you got enough?
Questions
Life is so full of questions
Questions of importance
Left unanswered
Yet always known
They can't be found
Unless
You ask the right
Resounding
Questions
Questions of importance
Left unanswered
Yet always known
They can't be found
Unless
You ask the right
Resounding
Questions
You took everything
You took away my life
My family
My love
My friends
You desired it
But left it
Shredded in the dust
Ar you Never satisfied?
My family
My love
My friends
You desired it
But left it
Shredded in the dust
Ar you Never satisfied?
It was you
You say I'm a monster
When all along- It was you
You say it's all my fault
When all along- It was yours
You said you cared for me-
That you loved me
Just to leave me broken and alone
When all along- It was you
You say it's all my fault
When all along- It was yours
You said you cared for me-
That you loved me
Just to leave me broken and alone
Backstabbing Life
Why is it that life gives you one, small, great thing
Just to turn around and stab you in the back?
The dagger that was once Life becomes Death
It rips your heart in two
Your life fading
Falling into the dark sea of impenetratable blackness
You scream
But no one can hear you
Will they even miss you?
Just to turn around and stab you in the back?
The dagger that was once Life becomes Death
It rips your heart in two
Your life fading
Falling into the dark sea of impenetratable blackness
You scream
But no one can hear you
Will they even miss you?
The pain tears
The pain tears at me
As I keep quiet
I fear that I'll burst
From all these tears
I work hard to hold back
If only IT had never happened
Then maybe
Possibly
Life wouldn't be such a nightmare
As I keep quiet
I fear that I'll burst
From all these tears
I work hard to hold back
If only IT had never happened
Then maybe
Possibly
Life wouldn't be such a nightmare
I'm Lovely
I'm lovely in my own way
People don't see it
But I do
People don't understand
Neither do you
No one cares
No one respects me
Why does life have to be this way?
I need you
But you don't need me
That's not going to stop me
People don't see it
But I do
People don't understand
Neither do you
No one cares
No one respects me
Why does life have to be this way?
I need you
But you don't need me
That's not going to stop me
Changed Terror
Pain and terror
As you're sucked lifeless
No blood is wasted
Even as you black out
Your predator awaits
You wake- To find yourself-
Changed
You're stronger
you're perfect in every way
Skin like porcelain
Cascading hair
Soft and lucious
You smile to yourself
As you realize- What you've become
A creature of the night
A vampire
As you're sucked lifeless
No blood is wasted
Even as you black out
Your predator awaits
You wake- To find yourself-
Changed
You're stronger
you're perfect in every way
Skin like porcelain
Cascading hair
Soft and lucious
You smile to yourself
As you realize- What you've become
A creature of the night
A vampire
Blood
For blood you thirst
The temptation so strong
You spin out of control
And attack
You mercilously devour your kill
Once satisfied
You take a look at your victim
It's your best friend
You scream eerily and deadly
"What have I done?!?"
The temptation so strong
You spin out of control
And attack
You mercilously devour your kill
Once satisfied
You take a look at your victim
It's your best friend
You scream eerily and deadly
"What have I done?!?"
Your aura
Your aura
That glows around you
Captures my stare
I only meant to glance
But now
I can't look away
How is it possible?
Why do you have to be
So beautiful?
That glows around you
Captures my stare
I only meant to glance
But now
I can't look away
How is it possible?
Why do you have to be
So beautiful?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Finally
Finally
I think I'm finally happy
I think someone finally cares
I think I finally found where I belong
I think I finally found what's important to me
I think I'm finally happy
I think someone finally cares
I think I finally found where I belong
I think I finally found what's important to me
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Your wings
Your wings
Soft and velvety
Comforting and safe
I fly into the stars
With you
Not looking back
At life
Just at you
You're just so perfect
Soft and velvety
Comforting and safe
I fly into the stars
With you
Not looking back
At life
Just at you
You're just so perfect
You try to save me
You fight
To destroy me
And him
To save me
I know I want him
Not you
I love him
Not you
Yet, somehow
You play with my mind
And I'm lost
To destroy me
And him
To save me
I know I want him
Not you
I love him
Not you
Yet, somehow
You play with my mind
And I'm lost
Escaping
I sleep
Escaping this world
With you
My heart melts
As your wings
Circle around me
Comforted for once
I can be happy
Escaping this world
With you
My heart melts
As your wings
Circle around me
Comforted for once
I can be happy
Hurt me to save me
You purposefully hurt me
Just to save me
If you showed me
That you cared
They'd destroy me
But perhaps
If you didn't show it
Maybe I could
At the least
Be saved
Just to save me
If you showed me
That you cared
They'd destroy me
But perhaps
If you didn't show it
Maybe I could
At the least
Be saved
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Nightmares
Nightmares
They haunt you in your sleep
Your very fears
Creep up on you
As if they know
They take life and emotions
And put it together
To make the worst vision
You could possibly see
It feels so real
Hopefully soon
You can wake up
They haunt you in your sleep
Your very fears
Creep up on you
As if they know
They take life and emotions
And put it together
To make the worst vision
You could possibly see
It feels so real
Hopefully soon
You can wake up
Sleep
Sleep
My only way of escape
Not to die
But to live
Sleep away what I can't enjoy
And wake to enjoy what I can
All I need now is to escape
All I need is to sleep
My only way of escape
Not to die
But to live
Sleep away what I can't enjoy
And wake to enjoy what I can
All I need now is to escape
All I need is to sleep
Awoken in darkness
Lying in the darkness
Awoken by loud noise
What is it?
Screaming and fighting
Isn't tomarrow an important day?
Yes, of course, but they donn't care
That I need rest
I have trouble sleeping
But they still wake me
Why can't they stop?
It hurts to here the yelling
The crying and the slamming doors
Please just let me sleep
So I can get away from here
Awoken by loud noise
What is it?
Screaming and fighting
Isn't tomarrow an important day?
Yes, of course, but they donn't care
That I need rest
I have trouble sleeping
But they still wake me
Why can't they stop?
It hurts to here the yelling
The crying and the slamming doors
Please just let me sleep
So I can get away from here
You left me
You left me
So you wouldn't hurt me
But you already did
By leaving me
I went through so much
To get you
I geuss it was all
For nothing
So you wouldn't hurt me
But you already did
By leaving me
I went through so much
To get you
I geuss it was all
For nothing
You warned me
You warned me
That when you left
You would hurt me
I didn't listen
I didn't believe you
But now that you're gone
I see what you meant
And I know now
I should've listned to you
That when you left
You would hurt me
I didn't listen
I didn't believe you
But now that you're gone
I see what you meant
And I know now
I should've listned to you
Cuts
One
Two
Three
Four
How many more?
I'm cutting myself more and more
What can I do?
I need to stop
But I can't
I don't want to stop
I need to cut
And it's all your fault
I fell in love with you
Just to lose you
It hurts me to much
It's just to unbearable
Two
Three
Four
How many more?
I'm cutting myself more and more
What can I do?
I need to stop
But I can't
I don't want to stop
I need to cut
And it's all your fault
I fell in love with you
Just to lose you
It hurts me to much
It's just to unbearable
Can I?
Can I love you?
Can I trust you?
How can I know for sure
When I can't even love
Myself?
And I don't even know
Who I am or what
I'm supposed to be?
Can I trust you?
How can I know for sure
When I can't even love
Myself?
And I don't even know
Who I am or what
I'm supposed to be?
Butterflies
Whenever I'm with you
I get butterflies inside
They just won't go away
Because you always
Brighten my day
Even when it seems
Impossible
I get butterflies inside
They just won't go away
Because you always
Brighten my day
Even when it seems
Impossible
Back and forth
Running from you
Running to you
I keep running
Back and forth
I come and go
Not knowing
Where to go
Or where to stay
I can't stop running
Running to you
I keep running
Back and forth
I come and go
Not knowing
Where to go
Or where to stay
I can't stop running
Time
I can't seem to keep track of time
When I'm with you
But when it's time for me to leave
I can't
It's just so hard to be without you
When I'm with you
But when it's time for me to leave
I can't
It's just so hard to be without you
Running
Running, running, running
Always running
Running from help
Running from love
Running from yourself
When all along
Everything you're running from
Are the things you're searching for
Always running
Running from help
Running from love
Running from yourself
When all along
Everything you're running from
Are the things you're searching for
Just friends.. or more?
You care so much
But you can only be friends
It hurts you so much
But you can't stay away
No matter how much you try
Stay or leave
You'll die
More and more inside
But you can only be friends
It hurts you so much
But you can't stay away
No matter how much you try
Stay or leave
You'll die
More and more inside
The dark
Being alone
In the dark
So cruel
So violent
We wait
For help
Day after day
Year after year
We scream and cry
But no one comes
No one saves us
We're stuck here
With no way out
In the dark
So cruel
So violent
We wait
For help
Day after day
Year after year
We scream and cry
But no one comes
No one saves us
We're stuck here
With no way out
Dreams
You dream to be one of them
One of the undead
To be beautiful and perfect
To get away from life
Yet, still live
You seek, forever and always
Searching for one of them
Until your dreams break
You fall to your knees
And cry your life away
One of the undead
To be beautiful and perfect
To get away from life
Yet, still live
You seek, forever and always
Searching for one of them
Until your dreams break
You fall to your knees
And cry your life away
Your Death Maiden
The crooning voice
Draws you closer
The plaintiveness shows
When you come upon
The beautiful maiden
You try to ingratiate yourself
But she's saucy and flagrant
She knows your feelings are effusive
She toys with you
Quickly
She grows petulant
And admits a strident noise
She attacks
She's so tenacious
That, finally, you succumb
To her will
Draws you closer
The plaintiveness shows
When you come upon
The beautiful maiden
You try to ingratiate yourself
But she's saucy and flagrant
She knows your feelings are effusive
She toys with you
Quickly
She grows petulant
And admits a strident noise
She attacks
She's so tenacious
That, finally, you succumb
To her will
Captivated
I stare
Captivated by your eyes
Your love I wish for
Are you captivated to?
I'm scared to stare
But I'm scared to look away
Even the unbearable pain
That pierces my soul
Can't make me look away
Captivated by your eyes
Your love I wish for
Are you captivated to?
I'm scared to stare
But I'm scared to look away
Even the unbearable pain
That pierces my soul
Can't make me look away
Friday, May 20, 2011
My Fantasyland
I'm living in a fantasy land
Where there's love all around
Everyone's nice and cares about me
I'm at the top with the crown on my head
And my lover right ahead
Birds sing, butterflies fly
And I'm back where I was before
In my miserable
And loveless life
Where there's love all around
Everyone's nice and cares about me
I'm at the top with the crown on my head
And my lover right ahead
Birds sing, butterflies fly
And I'm back where I was before
In my miserable
And loveless life
Friday, May 13, 2011
Lost
I run out the door
As it slams shut behind me
Tears fill my eyes
My screams and cries break the silence
I need to get away
Running through water
And busy streets
Until I fall
And realiz where I am
I'm lost
I spin around
Searching for a familiar sign
Just to find none
Lost, lost,lost
I am lost forever
As it slams shut behind me
Tears fill my eyes
My screams and cries break the silence
I need to get away
Running through water
And busy streets
Until I fall
And realiz where I am
I'm lost
I spin around
Searching for a familiar sign
Just to find none
Lost, lost,lost
I am lost forever
Someone
I need someone
I need someone to trust
Someone to talk to
Someone who'll listen
Someone who'll care
But there's nobody there
I need someone to trust
Someone to talk to
Someone who'll listen
Someone who'll care
But there's nobody there
Hope
Hope is a fool
It gives you a reason to live
Yet makes your life a living hell
It gives you false sense
Lies you believe
Will hurt you more
All because of Hope
It gives you a reason to live
Yet makes your life a living hell
It gives you false sense
Lies you believe
Will hurt you more
All because of Hope
Nothing
I have nothing left
I've lost everything
I have nothing
I have no happiness
I have no love
I have no control
Over my actions
Or emotions
I just lost it
I've lost everything
I have nothing
I have no happiness
I have no love
I have no control
Over my actions
Or emotions
I just lost it
Friends
Friends make mistakes
Jealousy and rudeness
All come between
Driving you apart
You realize one day
As you sit
Crying
On an abandoned street
Listening to nature
The wind blowing in your hair
That you may just lose that person
The person that is all you have left
Jealousy and rudeness
All come between
Driving you apart
You realize one day
As you sit
Crying
On an abandoned street
Listening to nature
The wind blowing in your hair
That you may just lose that person
The person that is all you have left
No communication
No communication
Moving constantly
Leaving friends behind
Losing Contact
Not trusting anyone
Not letting anyone close
Fearing goodbyes
And the difficulties
Of no communication
Moving constantly
Leaving friends behind
Losing Contact
Not trusting anyone
Not letting anyone close
Fearing goodbyes
And the difficulties
Of no communication
Hurt
You've been hurt
Too many times
You're scared to let
Anyone in
You resist temptation
Til you give in
To one
One special person
You let them close
Just to be hurt
Worse than ever
Too many times
You're scared to let
Anyone in
You resist temptation
Til you give in
To one
One special person
You let them close
Just to be hurt
Worse than ever
Anger
Anger
Is eveil
I hate anger
And yet I can't stay away
From it
No matter
How hard I try
Everyone pisses me off
They make me angry
Without doing anything
It makes me angry
To be so angry
Is eveil
I hate anger
And yet I can't stay away
From it
No matter
How hard I try
Everyone pisses me off
They make me angry
Without doing anything
It makes me angry
To be so angry
Can you?
Can you help me?
Can you give me what I want?
Can you give me what I need?
Can you make me happy?
Can you fill the empty space in my heart?
Can't you hear my soul calling to you?
Can't you understand, that I love you?
Can you give me what I want?
Can you give me what I need?
Can you make me happy?
Can you fill the empty space in my heart?
Can't you hear my soul calling to you?
Can't you understand, that I love you?
One day
One day I'll be loved
One day I'll be happy
One day I'll always have the
One for me
Then
You'll know if my life
Was really worth saving
One day I'll be happy
One day I'll always have the
One for me
Then
You'll know if my life
Was really worth saving
My grave
My grave
Is deep inside of me
I'll keep digging
Until I'm done
My last little bit of life is dispersing
I'm losing the fight
Soon I'll be gone
No one will have to worry
About me
Anymore
Besides
They won't even notice I'm gone
Is deep inside of me
I'll keep digging
Until I'm done
My last little bit of life is dispersing
I'm losing the fight
Soon I'll be gone
No one will have to worry
About me
Anymore
Besides
They won't even notice I'm gone
Love lies
People make up stories of Love
And you believe them
But once you fall
You realize
Its all lies
There's no such thing as Love
And you believe them
But once you fall
You realize
Its all lies
There's no such thing as Love
Silent screams
As my silent screams fill my soul
I keep quiet
And smile to hide the pain
But how much longer?
The pain gets stronger
And weakens me
And, Yet
Still, Nobody saves me?
I keep quiet
And smile to hide the pain
But how much longer?
The pain gets stronger
And weakens me
And, Yet
Still, Nobody saves me?
A monster in me
There's a monster inside of me
It claws keep me secure in its grip
Digging deeply into my skin
It keeps me tethered to its will
I fight but always lose
For it creeps back to me
To terrorize the weak
And hurt the ones I love
It claws keep me secure in its grip
Digging deeply into my skin
It keeps me tethered to its will
I fight but always lose
For it creeps back to me
To terrorize the weak
And hurt the ones I love
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Religion
So my mom is a mormon and my dad is an atheist. My mom forces me to go to church whenever I'm visiting her, which, thank God, isn't very often. I have had many bad experiences with mormons, but I have also had a few good ones to. Girls camp is one of those highlights. I don't like how they treated me though when I would go to church. Since they didn't approve of my clothing since it was to "innapropriate" and they didn't like when I had my piercings. I even got told I looked like a boy once, which I definately don't, just beacause I was wearing sweats! Mormons can't be disrespected but can disrespect. They think they're the true church. I personally don't believe in that church. Although, right now I don't know if I believe in any church. What religion is true? I believe that if God really did exist people wouldn't go through all the stuff they go through and people wouldn"t be getting raped, since He loves us so much.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Homosexuality
Everyone in the world has different opinions of homosexuality. I myself deal with it everyday. My mother is a full-out mormon and is a total homophobe. One problem with that is, I'm bisexual! I mean don't get me wrong, i like guys sometimes, but I'm pretty much just into girls. Everything gets complicated from there. I also hear people always hating on gay, lesbian or bi. Think of how all these people are. Aren't they hurting to? Do you think they're bulletproof? I don't think so. They have feelings just like us. People can't control what sexuality they are. It's a natural born thing. Life is thankfully getting easier to deal with homosexuals. But people still diss on gay guys alot. You know just because a guy is gay, it doesn't mean they're going to hit on you. But they CAN be the BEST friends in the world. Or even your whole LIFE! WHy is it such a big deal?
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